As I take up my pen to write this (fingers to type doesn’t sound half so poetic) I notice it’s been near enough a year since either of us wrote anything. I do have one excuse for this, another child who nearly crippled me for half the pregnancy and tried to kill the pair of us on the way out, and I think Bronwyn’s probably passed the time by drinking with Dmitri Bilozerchev. We may or may not amp things up a bit in the run up to Rio, I don’t know. It all depends on whether we can get our arses into gear.
Speaking of getting arses into gear, I wanted to share with anyone who hasn’t yet been able to enjoy it the wonder that was Tatiana Nabieva’s beam routine at Russian Nationals earlier this year.
10.733, and she deserved Every Single Thousandth. I think we shall henceforth be referring to her as the Blessed Nabieva. This is literally my favourite routine she’s ever done. She performed with all the verve and charisma of someone who was only there because Valentina had taken her cat hostage. Bonus points for being near enough perfect on the acro series, the most difficult part of the routine by far. I didn’t know passive aggressive beam was a thing until now.
The last time I saw someone give less of a fuck than this was when that Ukrainian just jumped off the beam in lieu of a dismount at some irrelevance in 2004. I did not think that could be topped, but then our girl rises to the challenge. My heart is swelling.
Our good friend Clerinert from wwgym has predicted that, following Mustafina’s decision to sit Glasgow out, the Blessed Nabieva will be removed from whichever speakeasy she’s currently propping up, put onto Marlboro Ultra Lights and sent out, once again, to vault for team bronze. We wholeheartedly agree.
Glasgow is coming, and I can’t fucking wait. See you there.