Some kind soul emailed Clara and I to inform us that our blog sucks, so I decided to post about something really important and non-shallow – 80’s HAIR!
The 80’s make me think of many of my favorite things: Jem, Atari, The Golden Girls, shoulder pads, “Member’s Only” jackets (that my dad still insists on wearing), hoop earrings (which I will still rock the fuck out of), Madonna, stirrup pants (ew), and a pre-crackhead/Bobby Brown Whitney Houston singing horrifically over-produced (yet fun) white-girl-jams.
Not only were the 80’s a time for fashion, entertainment, Ronald Reagan, and being hooked on cocaine, but gymnastically, it was a time that inspired the following quaffs.
Mary Lou Retton
Is it bad to have the same hair style as Bela (and well, Marta) ?
Brandy was my first “favorite gymnast”, and I’m not embarrassed to admit it.
Not only did she have the skills to pay the bills, but she also epitomized your typical American 80’s teen-bitch next door. Like Blair from the Facts of Life, only cuter and thinner.
Feathered bangs and Aquanet? Got it. Orange glow of the Cali-sun or the newly implemented tanning bed? Got it. Scrunchy? Yep. Cheesy floor music? Got that too.
Here Brandy is performing to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff” (still one of my favorite floor routines). Mind you that this song was actually released 10 years prior, but has enough of that 80’s sleaze porn coke den of iniquity feel to it that it still feels relevant in 1989.
Even if you can find flaws in this routine, I give her ponytail a 10.
I remember telling my mom that I wanted a perm when I was in 1st grade. I was cursed with pin-straight hair (which I consider a blessing now), and longed for a curly style that resembled Julia Roberts. I never got the perm I so desired, but instead, my mom whipped some curlers out of her briefcase at me and told me to go to town.
I’m not quite sure who got a hold of the pruning shears in Deva, but Daniela got less Pretty Woman and more Sophia Petrillo in Seoul.
I decided I wanted a short, boyish, no-fuss hairdo like Demi Moore after seeing Ghost. But unfortunately, if you’re face isn’t as pretty as Demi’s, you’re not groping Patrick Swayze through Whoopi Goldberg, and you still opt for this hairstyle, you just end up looking like a dude. Or Elena Shushunova.
Frankly, I think her chosen babushka music was just right.
Though I was young, I don’t recall blinding bleach-blonde mullets ever being a trend in the 80’s. Unless at a lesbian truckers convention. But I also wasn’t a member of the 1988 East German Olympic Team.
Maybe it’s a cultural thing. This was Eurotrash before it was Eurotrash, and at Stoi!, we applaud and celebrate any and all nods to Eurotrash (see Tatiana Nabieva).
Ulrike’s Seoul roomie/teammate, Orphan Annie meets Heidi Fleiss.
Looking back at the whack hair on the podium in Seoul, Laschenova’s face says it all :