Hair today, gone tomorow.

Some kind soul emailed Clara and I to inform us that our blog sucks, so I decided to post about something really important and non-shallow – 80’s HAIR!

 This will be…a like totally important follow-up to Clara’s post about curly girls, and mine about bangs.

 The 80’s make me think of many of my favorite things: Jem, Atari, The Golden Girls, shoulder pads, “Member’s Only” jackets (that my dad still insists on wearing), hoop earrings (which I will still rock the fuck out of), Madonna, stirrup pants (ew), and a pre-crackhead/Bobby Brown Whitney Houston singing horrifically over-produced (yet fun) white-girl-jams.

Not only were the 80’s a time for fashion, entertainment, Ronald Reagan, and being hooked on cocaine, but gymnastically, it was a time that inspired the following quaffs. 

Mary Lou Retton

Is it bad to have the same hair style as Bela (and well, Marta) ?

 Brandy Johnson

 Brandy was my first “favorite gymnast”, and I’m not embarrassed to admit it.

Not only did she have the skills to pay the bills, but she also epitomized your typical American 80’s teen-bitch next door. Like Blair from the Facts of Life, only cuter and thinner.

Feathered bangs and Aquanet? Got it. Orange glow of the Cali-sun or the newly implemented tanning bed? Got it. Scrunchy? Yep. Cheesy floor music? Got that too.

Here Brandy is performing to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff” (still one of my favorite floor routines). Mind you that this song was actually released 10 years prior, but has enough of that 80’s sleaze porn coke den of iniquity feel to it that it still feels relevant in 1989.

Even if you can find flaws in this routine, I give her ponytail a 10.

Daniela Silivas

I remember telling my mom that I wanted a perm when I was in 1st grade. I was cursed with pin-straight hair (which I consider a blessing now), and longed for a curly style that resembled Julia Roberts. I never got the perm I so desired, but instead, my mom whipped some curlers out of her briefcase at me and told me to go to town.

I’m not quite sure who got a hold of the pruning shears in Deva, but Daniela got less Pretty Woman and more Sophia Petrillo in Seoul.

 Elena Shushunova

I decided I wanted a short, boyish, no-fuss hairdo like Demi Moore after seeing Ghost. But unfortunately, if you’re face isn’t as pretty as Demi’s, you’re not groping Patrick Swayze through Whoopi Goldberg, and you still opt for this hairstyle, you just end up looking like a dude. Or Elena Shushunova.

Frankly, I think her chosen babushka music was just right.

Ulrike Klotz

Though I was young, I don’t recall blinding bleach-blonde mullets ever being a trend in the 80’s. Unless at a lesbian truckers convention.  But I also wasn’t a member of the 1988 East German Olympic Team.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing. This was Eurotrash before it was Eurotrash, and at Stoi!, we applaud and celebrate any and all nods to Eurotrash (see Tatiana Nabieva).

Dagmar Kirtsen

Ulrike’s Seoul roomie/teammate, Orphan Annie meets Heidi Fleiss.

Looking back at the whack hair on the  podium in Seoul, Laschenova’s face says it all :

-Bronwyn

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14 responses to “Hair today, gone tomorow.

  • Christina

    Ohmigod, between the ages of 8 and 10, I would have died to be Daniela Silivas. I used to beg my parents to send me to Deva, and got super upset when they refused. I, um, clearly didn’t really understand how that all worked…

    But when she showed up in Seoul with that hair, even 10-year-old me was like, “Okay, so maybe I just want to be kind of *like* Daniela Silivas…”

    PS– This blog is amazing. Haters gonna hate.

  • Lottie

    I LOVE this blog and have been lurking and chortling to myself for weeks, particularly to posts like this one which appeal to the immensely shallow part (whole?) of me. Keep up the good work and ignore those poor misguided souls who have not yet seen the light…

  • Rach

    Your blog rocks! Screw the Hater! Someone should send Prudanova to kick their arse!

  • Elle

    I LOVE THIS BLOG

    every once in a while i’m still tempted to rock the princess di crop

  • Ashlyn

    Your blog is amazing and hilarious and makes me laugh every time I read it. Screw the haters! They are boring and uninteresting. Viva Stoi!

  • gem

    i’m pretty gutted that i wasn’t born to experience this. and also that gymnasts didnt embrace chav culture more. that i can relate to.

  • Stoi!

    Btw I love the hoop earrings too- but then I’m from a council estate and it’s how we roll.

  • Stoi!

    You should’ve put Daniela Silivas first Bronwyn. Your blog is shit.

  • audgator

    Forget the haters, I love this blog!

  • Holly-LA

    Great response! Whoever wrote that email is probably a hermit who reads the code of gymanstics over and over again for fun and has no sense of humor. Carry on STOI….and do what you do….b/c I’m def a fan!

  • Sasha

    I think this is an appropriate response to such emails.

    Next week you should do 90s hair.

  • Jayd

    I wanted a perm when I was a kid too, thank god I didn’t get one.

    BTW I absolutely LOVE your blog. I hang out for new posts all the time. Keep it up ladies!

  • Solange Valle

    And… for every poor lost soul who tells you your blog sucks, there are 100 who think it rocks. Fair enough… everyone is entitled to their opinion… but I’m one of the silent crowd that does read your blog regularly and immensely enjoy it. Keep it up – you rock!

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