Yesterday I was watching that Malcolm In The Middle episode where Dewey dances with the old woman to ‘Fernando’, and it was heartwarming.  It made me wonder why ABBA’s music has been relatively underused in gymnastics.

The only one I can think of is Kang Xin in 2003, using a particularly soaring and orchestral cut of Money Money Money. She didn’t do that great a job with it.  Here she is in the Anaheim AA.

At least she didn’t fall over her feet during the choregraphy this time, like in TFs, but it isn’t a great performance from the soul. The passage at 0.59 where she does a forward roll then stands up aimlessly is emphatically not acceptable.

However, it worked beautifully as a background accompaniment to Zhang Nan throwing away her chance at gold on bars in the background.

It was very fitting that the piece really started to soar at just the moment she fucked up the cast on the high bar.  Well played ladies, a better team effort then you managed during 6-3-3 anyway.

I’d like to see someone use The Winner Takes It All. That could be fuel for some really cliched commentary if said gymnast was about to go up last on floor and there was a gold medal on the line.

Khorkina could’ve totally pulled it off. It would’ve been especially appropriate for her in the 2004 Olympic AA. Although I hasten to suggest anything could’ve improved on Acropolis Adieu, in terms of the pathos, being past your best but still dragging yourself on anyway, the show must go on despite my eating disorder, the audience need me, I can’t believe what those bastards did to me in 2000, hint of desparation, raddled sub Bolshoi slapper schtick.

Fuck, I love that bitch. It’s a medical marvel that she managed to ovulate only three months afterwards. Boris must have been so proud.

Dancing Queen would also work, particularly if picked by someone with no rhythm whatsoever.

-Posted by Clara


Edit- As I had hoped, there are actually more Abba routines out there. Gentlewomen and scholars Elizabeth and JustALurker found these gems also.

Next up, Ace of Base. And Las Ketchup.


6 responses to “Abba

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