Fugly is a beautiful word. One of the great advantages of the English language, we are told by polyglots, is the abundance of option for profanity. People who can speak many languages often choose to swear in English. The word ‘fuck’ is particularly useful and versatile, as is the word shit. You can use them as noun, adjective and verb, and mix them with other words to make new ones. Like ugly. Or fugly, for the days when you can’t be arsed to write “fucking ugly.”
Sometimes, the sport we love is fugly. In fact, in these days of Grandinastics, there’s always something. Neither Jesolo nor Doha were any exception.
- The ugliest thing we saw all week, though, wasn’t any gymnastics. It was a swollen knee belonging to one Rebecca Bross.
Look at that thing. She’d just competed on it. Now, we are not doctors, or any kind of medical professionals at all in fact. We suspect this is also true of most of our readership. Nonetheless, we know when something looks sore. Does this knee look to anyone like it is in the ideal state to be competed on? No, it does not. Admittedly bars isn’t the most testing event for a limb, even if you do come a cropper as Bross did yet again. But beam can be quite a bashing.
It’s looking to us like once again, a fragile Bross is being improperly managed. It happened last summer, when Valeri for some reason believed Marta’s bullshit about her having to do AA at Nationals to be in with a chance of the Worlds Team. It happened in 2008, when the athletes in question were Memmel and Sacramone. And it’s happening again now. There was no need for Bross to be at this competition, and nothing positive came of it. Even her standing up her Patterson dismount for the first time since fuck knows when was undermined by the fact that she scored a harsh 14.2 for a hit routine. Besides Ross, the judges in Italy were not being kind to the Americans on beam that day.
What a mess. As it turned out, she’d have been much better off at home.
- No fugly roundup would be compete without a mention of Aly Raisman, who spent yet more time proving my argument that her Amanar is irrelevant to her selection chances and serves only as a considerable injury risk. It’s getting worse – the one at Scam was both pretty and secure in comparison:
Where to start? It wasn’t round, for one thing. The twisting form was dreadful. Add some hair bleach and bangs and one could almost be forgiven for thinking Nabieva had got off her arse and defected.
In all seriousness, this looked like some of Mustafina’s less-fit half assed efforts. We all know how that ended. Neither of us is a great fan of Raisman’s gymnastics, but nor do we want her Olympic run to finish with her being carried out of the arena. Quite apart from anything else, we need to see her compete her sick hot floor upgrades successfully.
- Mykayla Skinner’s floor at Jesolo and the scandalous piece of d-panel bullshit that came along with it.
The girl can tumble, we’ll give her that, but somehow the judges came up with a 6.2.
We wouldn’t give her credit for any of her leaps, not even the switch side 1/2. Bronwyn can probably do better leaps after a box of Franzia.
- Speaking of fug leaps (and turns), we turn our attention to Brenna Dowell. We mentioned our love for her fabulous front tumbling in ‘The Good‘ section, but her “dance” (or lackthereof) needs addressed immediately. The poor thing makes Raisman look like a ballerina.
- As discussed in ‘The Bad‘ Ponor’s twisting form on floor has not improved. We can’t be fucked to write the same criticism of it that the world’s been offering since 2003, but feel it ought to get a mention anyway. Add your own description of it here, should you wish to do so.
- Clara (& Bronwyn)